Your Family History

Many people do not know that family history, obtaining information about your ancestors, is more popular than any hobby except gardening. It is amazing to me that so many people have a strong desire to learn about generations of grandparents and spend a great deal of time, money, and energy collecting this information. It also seems to produce great satisfaction for those who do it. However, I wish to write about another aspect of family history. It is that knowing our own history seems to anchor our children to the stable values most parents want them to learn and then demonstrate.

There is quite a bit of scientific evidence that children who know their grandparents and are positively influenced by them have greater opportunities for emotional health and overall success. Apparently grandparents can add support for what parents do and in some cases counterbalance the mistakes we as parents might make. But, why would knowing about people whom children have never met exert influence? I believe there are a few important reasons and if we understand them we have another approach to help successfully rear our children.

An athlete who has a winning history tends to expect to win in the future. Adults with happy childhood memories tend to be more successful and happy in their marriages. Soldiers who understand their history tend to be more stable when fighting against an enemy who wishes to defeat them. These are examples of the principle I am writing about. When our children know about the people who preceded them, and form connections between themselves and these people, they are influenced by the qualities and sacrifices, and character qualities demonstrated by these people. Children need to know the people part of their own history rather than seeing their history as a set of events and happenings. When a growing child of today knows that someone immigrated to this country, for example, he or she can begin to see courage, sacrifice, a sense of adventure, and a willingness to work hard for new opportunities. This child is here, for instance, as a result of what someone else did and accomplished.

Having this knowledge makes it possible for a child to define his or her future using what has been learned from these former people. Even if they made mistakes, had problems, or something else their examples can be used to guide a child into an uncertain future. When the positive characteristics of these individuals are known they too can provide a guiding hand. Let’s consider just one example.

The idea of hoping and believing in a good future is thought to be essential for anyone’s success and happiness. We want our children to believe in themselves, the future, and their ability to match whatever requirements they are going to face. Where does that come from? It might come more naturally to some and it might come from parents who display optimism and courage. But, it can surely be influenced by learning that a child comes from a long line of people who had hope, who faced the challenges of their day and survived them, who developed strong values and adhered to them no matter what they faced. Armed with this knowledge a child can face his or her future with hope and even if mistakes are made they are more likely to recover, change themselves, and begin to live more consistently with the good things they know about. We should maximize this effective tool by teaching our children about all those who preceded them and then explain to them that it would be a good thing for them to honor those by living well.