The Big Abstinence Fight

The national congress will, this year, consider a bill designed to continue funding abstinence sex education. Conservatives fought hard to get the law in the first place because they want support for their valued objectives. The purpose of the bill originally was to fund efforts by schools to teach sexual abstinence to children with the intent to reduce the numbers of youth who engage in premarital sex and stop the trend of sexual contact at earlier ages. Unwed pregnancies and the welfare costs related to child birth and child care following the birth are are now reaching the twenty billion dollar amount each year. This effort is controversial because the government has paid well over $160 million dollars a year for the last few years and the results do not appear to justify the expense based on some scientific studies. The controversy centers on the conflict between these studies which don’t show many positive results and the firm and central values of people who wish sexual abstinence before marriage to be the standard for all youth.

This conflict will probably not include another discussion which I wish could take place. The bill is designed to support efforts by school personnel. In that setting school teachers may in fact have some influence if they organize the teaching plan well. Some of the curriculum materials are very good. But, they typically are not able to create a context of instruction where children can learn most effectively about sex and love, sex and commitment, the emotional and psychological harm premarital sex can produce, and sex as connected to the perpetuation of personal values. They typically do not have the emotional relationships with students which make their ideas and instructions powerful enough to cause most youth to learn and follow. This context is more effectively created in the home with parents and other family members. The problem is that parents typically do not talk to or teach their children about sex. Many research attempts show that 25% or less of the parents get involved. This is because they report that they don’t know what to say, they are embarrassed about talking openly about sex, and they don’t have the type of relationship with their children that comfortably allows such personal and intimate conversations. It would be great if we could have some combination of school and parental involvement where both did their jobs or could find a way to motivate parents to do the job.

This need is significant because for many the controversy about abstinence sex education limits the discussion about a related but less often talked about issue. This is related to the enormous increase in sexual information available to children from a very early age. This is not just pornographic material which is bad enough. Varieties of sexual behavior, as we all know, are shown in explicit and in fairly subtle forms in movies, on the internet, blatantly and openly in conversations with other youth, and many other perceived forms. What is talked about and how often it is talked or communicated about signals its importance for many kids. As a result, for many youth, the presence of so much sexual information in many forms suggests to them a “script” which is the most common norm for teens. Many are engaging in sexual adventurism which might seem harmless at first but which often leads to more than they think. This means that to be accepted and belong many think they must be able to discuss their sexual experience with others and not being experienced will result in ridicule. The biological and social motivation combine and many of our children get involved in sexual contact much earlier than they otherwise would. When youth have this experience and they are not prepared mentally or emotionally for it, the negative effects can be long lasting.