Our Emotional Economy During The Holidays

You probably can understand why people experience more difficult emotions when they feel higher stress about the economy or any other pressing problem. Living in an uncertain, possibly hostile, world creates a lot of anxiety. You might be surprised to learn that some children and adults are more vulnerable to depression during holidays. If you are acquainted a little with mental health issues you might also know about anxiety in an intense form showing up as panic attacks or compulsive disorders. These also make their appearance in greater numbers during holidays and times of stress.

Some used to think that individuals with these problems were weak in some way, but now we know that anyone could be vulnerable to these powerful emotions, even those who may not have had any previous experience with them. When they do happen, the experience is often so dramatic that we are almost overwhelmed. At first we might retreat and fold under the pressure and simply wish to sleep for long periods or avoid other people. Soon though we discover those forms of behavior do not lead to solutions and then we begin to look around for something better. What we do that eventually leads to success usually is based on our emotional economy.

It is the law of supply and demand. In an economic sense if the demands grow greater then supplies are used faster. In a business sense this might look like a good thing but when demand grows faster than available supplies, the business might fail because it cannot deliver what customers want. What happens to human beings when supplies run out but the demands still exist? Right now, you might be thinking that I am going to suggest that a person needs to take time to replenish themselves by resting and recreating. That might be useful but it is not the point of this article.

Every individual has an emotional “adaptation level,” which stays steady most of the time. When we learn about what is best for us we usually organize our lives to maintain this steady state. But, some use more energy than others to maintain it and some people can restore it faster when it is depleted. This means that the effects of living on us probably should be not understand as applying to people in the same way but as highly unique. In the interchanges between our own feelings and the influence of people and events in the environment, we go through several cycles of adding and subtracting emotions and energy. In a healthy climate we balance sleep, eating, positive attitudes and other “supplies,” with whatever the environmental pressure demands from us. We might even have a bank account for times when there are greater demands than there are supplies and we survive the run on supplies. But what about those times like holidays, traumatic events, or sustained duress? What do we do then?

Instead of approaching these seasons and times of high demand, like we ordinarily live, we can and should develop plans to add supplies. It requires only that we understand ourselves well enough to add a bit of discipline, organize a bit better, and know what adds benefit to us. It likely will be different in some ways for every person. Here are some examples.

Suppose I know what my own “adaptation level,” is. I might be very calm, in the middle, or quite vulnerable and easily stressed out. Or, I could look around and see how much strain I am currently experiencing. Then, I decide that I need to add supplies for me based on what I know. I do this either because of what is going on now, or because of what is coming (e.g. a holiday season). What works? Let’s see what doesn’t first.

It is easy to see why heavy drinking might be part of anyone’s experience. It changes what we feel. But, in the end it tends to make things worse. We might try some counterfeit measures like extra marital relationships, more drugs and medication, and do this to make us feel good. We think we need these as a coping response. These almost always are limited and have negative side effects.

For most people what does work is a combination of good sleep, eating, and exercise as the basics. After that it is spending time with supportive people and spending less time with toxic people. It is learning how to extract positive lessons from life experiences, developing a mental structure that gives worth or value to what we do. It is expressing happiness to others, feeling some autonomy from what others do or say, and thinking of ourselves as at least partly in control enough to make ourselves feel happier. If possible it might be good to add in a few moments of relaxation and etc.

Now, lets suppose we teach these methods to our children so they can use them when they start school, participate in demanding school plays, when tests and grade pressure increase at school, and when friendships end. We and they would be able to handle life’s challenges better and we would have to spend less time dealing with grumpy, disobedient, and oppositional children.